The Rhythm, the Dance & Relationships
Have you ever had a friend tell you, "my husband and I never argue" and then felt foolish because you argue all the time with your partner? Or went on a double-date with the "affectionate couple" and came home upset that your mate didn't give you enough affection? Other couples reflect back to us what exists in our relationships. We just don't need to create a comparison because every human being has a personal rhythm and every relationship is a very unique dance. First -our personal rhythm...
Everything is energy. This energy can neither be created nor destroyed. In human beings, this same energy is the fuel for our own personal rhythm. This rhythm is usually pretty constant and is part of our constitution, but can change as we get older and/or when a significant change occurs in our lives. If we're going to talk about rhythm we must first touch on time signatures for a moment. Time signatures are a notational convention used to specify how many beats there are in a measure. Here are just a few general examples: Your rhythm may be the slow, ballad,soothing rhythm. It could be in 6/8 time like John Mayer's hit,"Gravity". I've known people who seem to have an unceasingly steady rock rhythm where they never seem to tire, like 4/4 time. There's also the 7/4 time signatures which are more rare, ie: "Money" by Pink Floyd or "Solsbury Hill" by Peter Gabriel. These rhythms are more complicated and may create a feeling of tension or unusual flow, that isn't typical to the ear or easy to dance to. Once we understand our personal rhythm, the dance we do with our partner is next...
The rhythm we have is alone, but once we're joined with another in relationship, it's a dance - so its not just about you anymore! The dance we create with another is very unique. It can be fun, filled with tension, yielding, growing, slowing down, turning away and coming back... hmmm...sounds like dancing to me. This dance we do together is very poetic, and should be honored. The couple that "never argues" might be doing the Viennese Waltz - calm, stepping together, staying in sync. The arguing couple's dance might be Swing- a roller coaster ride of flips, swinging out and swinging in, falls and lifts. It doesn't really matter what the dance is - it's your unique dance as a team. Now if your rhythm starts to change, and your partner's doesn't - you may need to adjust or stop dancing. That's a choice. However, the main thing is to know that even though your Jazz dance might be filled with some uncomfortable balancing, if you have a good partner you will be supported and the dance will continue. It may not be the happy Lindy Hop like your friends who live down the block from you, but that's okay. You're doing your dance.
If you're interested in a teacher to help inspire and evoke the dance within you, check out Cindera Che's website - The Che Way. She is a master teacher at helping any individual - regardless of prior dance experience - get in touch with their own dance.
One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is to know our body temple in all of its rich glory - the heartbeat, the rhythm, what it needs, how to sustain it and allow it to thrive on its own... and with another.
Daydree,
your October newsletter on the dance in myself and my relationship... was just the most perfect thing to read today, Thanksgiving Day.
Peace ~ beth
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