One of the biggest jokes on human beings is that while trying to control everything in our lives, ultimately, we have very little control over our lives - especially when it comes to Mother Nature.

The plan was simple. Get on the plane non-stop on December 27th, to LAX. Get home in time to relax a few days, then create a romantic 5-course meal for New Years Eve. Here's what actually happened...

One to two feet of snow was predicted to hit New York City the day after Christmas. My boyfriend and I were scheduled to return to Los Angeles from New York 2 days after Christmas. Since the weathermen tend to be wrong about these types of things, we assumed we'd get a few inches, and the airport would be cleaned right up in time for us to get outta dodge. Clearly our plan was derailed. The airports were closed on the 27th, so when we went online to our airline's site for more information there was none. We also couldn't get anyone on the phone to let us know when our flight would actually leave - the lines were constantly busy. We kept watching the news for a sign that the airports would reopen that evening. It wasn't looking good. However I had a plan. We'd get up around 5am, go straight to the airport and surely we'd get on some standby flight, or in an extreme case - pay a few extra hundred to leave on a different airline all together. We kept watching the news - over one thousand flights were canceled in all three major NYC airports and folks were sleeping in the airports on conveyor belts. Hmmm...not looking good at all.

Instead of going straight to the airport at 5am, I called instead. After an hour and a half of wrangling and haggling on the phone with our nameless airline, we finally got tickets reserved and were leaving that afternoon for Los Angeles through San Francisco. No longer non-stop, but we weren't complaining. We had control of the situation and we were going home. Good news! I woke my boyfriend to let him know. We were thrilled and already celebrating.

Getting out of our block was a joke. So later that afternoon, we waited across the street for our cab to arrive and carefully take us to the airport. Brooklyn was a nightmare. Sanitation hadn't cleaned much of the snow in the neighborhood, so cars were abandoned and broken down all across the avenue.

JFK airport - We check in 3 hrs early and go straight to the fanciest place in the airport to have a drink and shrimp cocktails. We were so happy to be on our way. DH (my boyfriend) and I toasted and celebrated the blessing of having everything work out. We headed to our gate at the appointed time and the lady at our gate says, "Your flight is canceled." Canceled? How can that be? There was no announcement and we were not contacted. She repeated herself rather deadpan. Everyone around us had the same helpless look. We knew we should probably stay around the airport and get a flight out instead of going back home in such treacherous road conditions. We tried to get booked on another flight. "All flights to Los Angeles have been canceled and some San Francisco flights too. Sorry. We can get you out on January 6th however..." January 6th?! It's the 28th! Ok. Ground yourself. Think. Vision for something better. Think positively. I decided to try them all. My boyfriend and I decided to have a pow-wow. The result: Since the airline couldn't help us out with a guarantee, we'd try standby. There was another flight leaving the next morning (29th) at 7:30am going to SF. It was just added and we'd surely get on. Our gate person was very positive and had actually moved us up in standby to 5th place, up from 22nd. Good news! Since the flight was so early the next day and there was such a problem getting into my family's neighborhood because of the snow, we decided to stay at the airport. Yes, sleep at the airport.

I'd never slept at an airport before, but I figured - everyone else seems to be doing it, so it can't be that bad (pause here for laughter). My boyfriend decided to request some cots. Wonderful. There weren't any available. Wonderful. Everywhere we looked in JFK individuals, families, dogs - were crashed out on the bare floor. Some had cardboard underneath them as a "protective" layer, but most were on the floor - a select few were sleeping sideways and diagonal in chairs. I looked at DH in despair. He said, "Let's find ourselves a corner and I'll go find us some cardboard, ok? Everything's gonna be fine." Sure enough, he returned with some cardboard with little hearts on it (apparently it was a box for chocolate candies), two $10 neck pillows, 4 bottles of water and a bag of Hershey kisses. What a guy.

I found it difficult sleeping on our new cardboard bed. I wonder why? Anyhow, New York's finest patrolled a few times during the night. I wanted to run over and hug them but was too exhausted. Shift to the right. My lower back is killing me. No, really? Shift to the left. "I need something under my hip", DH says. "Yeah... a bed", I reply. He decides to make up a game, "Let's play - What could be worse than this? I'll start." He continues, "If I woke up tied to a bed, with peanut butter and jelly on my testicles and a wolverine in the room... that would be worse than this." We roar with laughter. This little game kept us occupied for a spell, and then we tried to sleep. Well, we mostly tossed and turned. I probably actually slept 30 minutes. I've always had compassion for the homeless, but after that experience, it has certainly quadrupled.

The next morning we headed to our gate - or shall I say, dragged ourselves to the gate for standby. All the while, folks were murmuring, "It's going to be so good to get home." One teenage girl traveling with her friends actually danced through the night to her iPod with excitement because she was finally getting home. We were standing next to each other. Then, the announcement and realization that we weren't getting on the flight. My little teenage friend screamed, "No!" Grown women were crying. A few men were yelling in disgust. Seriously, it was not a good scene. DH and I looked at each other. We were in agreement, we couldn't sleep another night in the airport and the back log of standby passengers had increased to the hundreds. We were obviously not getting home on this airline anytime soon. We called other airlines. "Well, maybe we could possibly, hopefully, get you on this other flight for $1200 per person...but just to Denver. Would you like that? But we can't guarantee it." Ah...no, thanks. We considered renting a car to drive across country, but all rental places wanted their car returned to the same location. I asked my boyfriend, "Have you ever traveled by train, DH? That might be our best bet. I love trains. They can be very soothing." It was his first time.

So we made a reservation right there and then, took a cab to New York's Penn Station December 29th and got on Amtrak's Southwest Chief bound for LA, changing trains in Chicago. I called my family. "Well we didn't get on any of the flights and we can't do another night in the airport, so we're traveling cross country by train." My Mom, "What? Oh Lord. Well, good. When do you get in?" January 1st. So much for the 5-course New Years Eve dinner.

The NY cab ride from JFK to Penn Station was a blog in and of itself.
But I digress...

Penn Station - We arrived at the ticket booth and already had reserved seats, but realized we needed a sleeper car for the journey. There weren't any. The sweet grandfatherly ticket agent said, "Well, who knows? It is the holidays. Maybe someone will cancel their ticket for the last leg of your journey and you can get a sleeper from Chicago to LA. You never know." DH & I looked at each other. Well, the seats are really roomy and they do recline...that should help. Our train was delayed...but only 15 minutes. A win!
I've always loved trains. The have a meditative quality about them. The motion, the endless scenery outside the large windows... DH & I cracked our books and relaxed. We felt so grateful to be finally on our way. Or were we? We kept stopping - more than normal. What is up with this train? Apparently it was so cold outside that our horn, located at the top of the train, was frozen. For this reason we had to slow down - almost to a walking pace - as we approached every signal. And guess what? There were a lot of signals. We basically crawled our way through Upstate New York. Then, the power went out. The power decided to leave the train. Goodbye! Don't like this train anymore. No power for you! DH & I look at each other. This is the time when you meditate, pray, whatever... something. He says, "What the hell?" I reply, "I know. They'll send us another car and we'll get power from that one. I've experienced this before." I went to college in Upstate New York and traveled by train frequently...but I'd forgotten this part. (sigh)

This crazy slow down, speed up thing went on for miles...and miles. And the next thing you know - it was so cold that the signals outside were frozen and not working as well! We were slowing down even more. I could walk to LA at this rate. (We both took a deep breath.) Luckily, it was time for dinner. Distractions can be sweet. We had two options - the snack car or the fancy dining car. We decided to go big, and went for the dining car experience. We made a reservation for 7pm. Very exciting! Table for 2 please. "Ma'am, since it's just the two of you, you'll be sitting with another couple." DH is a pretty private guy, so the awareness that we'd have to share our table with strangers was not appealing. Off his look, I flatly stated, "Sometimes in life, you just have to go with the change of the tide." He shrugged, then gave me a fist pump of agreement. Yay team! Off to the next mini adventure. We sat with a lovely elderly couple from Rochester, NY who had just come from visiting their son and his family. Salt of the earth folks. Next thing you know DH is leading the conversation, we're all joking around and actually enjoying our manicotti with a side of limp string beans. Plus we ordered some red wine - always helps. After dinner, we made our way back to our chairs and reclined. DH looked at me, "Well that wasn't that bad." Nope. Sometimes the challenges we fear, once we're in them, seem like nothing at all.

Chicago - We pulled into Chicago a few hours late because of our frozen horn issue and realized we had 2 hours to spare. I love Chicago, especially the food, so I mention to DH that we should try a nice steakhouse if we could find one. We synchronize our watches and fall upon the nicest cabbie on earth right outside the station - Nicholas from Togo, West Africa. I truly believe his heart was 10 times bigger than his 5' 2" frame. We first needed an iPod charger, so he dropped us at Radio Shack. I stayed in the car while DH ran in to make the purchase. I called him on his cell phone, "You need some cash, right? There's a Bank of America further down on the same block. Nicholas and I will circle and meet you in front." "Ok. Sounds great!" Nicholas and I began to circle the block at which time he begins to give me the loveliest tour of a 4 block radius. "So you see here, you have the Chicago River..." Me, "Ah..." I continue, "Nicholas, do you know of any great steakhouses?" "Oh sure, there's a great Brazilian place just 10 minutes away. It's always busy and always good." We pick up DH. "Nicholas is dropping us off at a steakhouse. Ready for lunch?" DH, "Yeah!!" Not only did this gem of a man drop us to our restaurant, but he then gave us his business card so we could be picked up exactly at the time we needed, in order to get on the next train for the last leg of our journey. Thank you Nicholas for your great attitude, awesome lunch recommendation and best 10-minute city tour ever!

When we arrived at the station, the first order of business was to get a sleeper car. It didn't happen. This was really disappointing. We had two nights left to sleep on the train. Hey, at least our belly's were full. What a blessing! Believe me, I was keeping count. The funniest thing was that neither DH nor I ever got angry or lost our tempers with each other. It was a time to join forces, buckle down, be kind to your neighbors, and enjoy the journey. We settled into our seats. We had new neighbors, as it was a new train. They were hippies. I love hippies. They had hemp clothing, organic this & that's and their own squeaky clean, beige, throw rug which the husband placed on the floor to sleep, while his wife and newborn stretched out on both seats above him. Clever. They were lovely and quiet. In the middle of the night I opened my eyes to observe them exchanging back massages with tea tree oil and braiding each others hair. Bless them.

The scenery was... well, snowy. All the way across the country there was snow on the ground until we got far into Arizona. It was fantastic really. This is such a vast, beautiful country with so much space! Its amazing that so many of us cram into NY and LA. Funny, actually.

We slowed down again... and again because of our frozen horn (which was defrosted for all of two train stops and then froze right up again), and the frozen station signals. Mother Nature. She really just does her own thing - in total control. DH and I spent our time reading, listening to music, and hanging in the lounge car with quite the cast of characters. I can hear my Dad's voice, "It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round." Indeed, Dad, you are correct. I rather enjoyed the whole experience. For the most part, people were lovely with each other, although we were all strangers. In an odd way, we became a family of strangers. I had a few ladies who smiled at me often and just started up random conversations. It was comforting. One seemed to be a bit disgruntled at one point of the journey and as I passed her walking to the lounge car, I kissed her forehead, said nothing, and kept moving. I don't know where it came from - I really didn't plan on doing it. It just happened. It seemed to relax her a bit, so she smiled. Life can be really simple sometimes. We ate breakfast and dinner with an array of people from every demographic. One morning we had breakfast with a left-wing hypnotherapist & a retired widower from Indiana, and the next evening with an extremely funny, elderly man who looked like he could have been David Letterman's Dad...oh yeah, and the guy from California who flipped homes for a living. Quite the crew. Speaking of the actual crew, they were amazing...

I really don't know how they did it. We were delayed many hours because of the weather, ran out of food and water, and yet, the staff on our train never let it stop them from being fun and giving towards us. Attitude really is everything. Yes, you heard it right, about 9 hours outside of our final destination we run out of food and water. Thank goodness I had the presence of mind to pre-pay for 2 breakfast sandwiches the night before. I remember picking them up the next morning. Mel, our lounge car attendant said, "No one can know you have these. I'm serious, no one..." His words trailed off like we were engaging in some CIA operation. He even warmed up our breakfast sandwiches in a small paper box to avoid anyone seeing them come out of the microwave. This was serious business.

We knew we were almost home, but we still couldn't wait to get there. You know that feeling? We pulled out of the station, picking up speed, then suddenly there was an abrupt stop. At this point, we were used to it, so we just sat and waited thinking that something else was frozen and we had to wait for it to thaw. Next thing you know the conductor comes barreling into our car, "Who pulled the emergency brake?!" DH and I looked around. It seemed as though this guy who we had met a couple days ago who shared that he had a serious cold, got seriously drunk the night before, was apparently very hung over and pulled the emergency brake! For what, we'll never know. Did he need an Advil? We looked behind us, and he was on bended knee, like one of those wisemen in a nativity scene...except he wasn't very wise. He had a cute little dog, named Hank with him. Well, I suspect they're out of jail now, because that's exactly where they were headed according to the conductor. You get jail time for pulling an emergency brake on a train when there's no emergency. I think he meant to pull the attendant button, but missed... I'm being generous.
 The last few hours were really quite tedious, especially after our last little "moment with Mr. Hangover".  Plus we were starving. There were only chips and tap water left on the train, so DH and I were trying to hold out. Then another announcement. We were being offered a free lunch, so we were to report to the dining car immediately. Praise be! DH & I jumped up with the rest of our car and headed down to feast. From a distance I could see something that looked brown in color in a soup bowl. What IS that? It resembled Dinty Moore Beef Stew. My first thought: What will the vegetarians do? You don't want to know my second thought. DH and I couldn't do anything but laugh and pick through it. Everyone was making jokes at this point. We thanked the dining staff, went back to our seats and settled into the last few hours towards home. 

The story really ends here. We got to LA, had a lovely, uneventful cab ride home and settled into our cozy place. DH and I had a great journey, we feel blessed to have experienced it and we realize our relationship is better for it. This was a character building experience - not the worse thing in the world, we weren't burned in a fire or wolverines weren't yapping at our private parts, but it was definitely a challenge.
All I know is, we are all stronger than we think. Take good care...