MyOshun Blog

Choices

Daydree — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 13:57:00 GMT

We are the sum total of every choice we've ever made up to this point. How you're feeling right now has a direct correlation to the choices you've made in the last 24hrs, week, etc. Did you drink too much last night? Did your daughter just give you a big hug? Are you anxious because you don't have the funds to pay rent? The choices we make are vital to how our lives will ultimately turn out. We're making choices at every moment. Some small - large Americano, no room for milk - and some large - I'll take the red Volkswagen EOS, please. Whatever the importance, each choice we make is like a flag on the map of our lives, designing its course. The course changes dependent upon the choices we make, which further shapes our happiness level and our quality of life. Are you looking over your life wondering: How did I get here? Its based on the conscious and unconscious choices you've made in the past, and the choices you've allowed others to make for you. This is probably the most disturbing. Once, I remember taking a job at a place where the owner assured me that they'd promote my new service. I made the choice to believe them and leave it in their hands. They did not promote me, which shaped my working there. This taught me to always take care of myself in business, even if someone swears that they'll take care of everything. This is a common example but one that can happen easily when we allow others to make important decisions for us, or when we opt out of making a choice (which IS making a choice). I'm not saying that we shouldn't trust and let other people make decisions once in awhile over little things, but rather I'm drawing attention to the importance of 'driving your own car' in life. When we observe how we make choices, what's important (our value-system), respect ourselves and others in the process - then, we can make better choices and move in the direction of optimal opportunity towards the life we desire.

To that point, astrologically speaking, Mercury has gone retrograde today. This is a time where people review and take stock of their lives. So as you look at your life today, how's it going? Relationship - great, money - bad. Or is everything going well, but people think you're an egomaniac? Look at the choices you've made in the areas of your life that could use improvement. What have they been and how did they bring you to this point? What value-system are they based on, and how can you make better decisions next time? Make a different choice and go with it. It just may surprise you!

Spring has sprung and 'tis the season for renewal and transformation. Isn't it about time?

Take care of yourselves and each other,

Daydree

Daydree is a Reiki Master/Teacher who lives and works in Los Angeles. She is a registered member of International Association of Reiki Professionals (IARP). To book an appt call: (310) 581-9238 www.myoshun.com

Getting Healthier - Quality of Life

Daydree — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 16:39:00 GMT

So many people are obsessed with losing weight, but not all are interested in getting healthier. When we’re healthier we feel lighter, younger, we do better at our jobs and in our relationships…and yes, if need be, as a by-product of being healthier - we lose weight. Most importantly, however, the quality of our life is enhanced.

Here are a few tips with a few twists…

Walking

At this point, everyone should know that this is the easiest and safest way to feel better, look better and get healthier. A 20-minute walk once a day is often recommended. Twist: However, if this cardio isn’t working for you and you are trying to lose weight, try sprinting midway through your walk for as long as you can as a boost in your metabolism. This will push the body to drop a few pounds especially if you’re weight has plateaued.

Yoga

The great thing about yoga is…just about everything. Yoga increases flexibility, detoxifies the body, helps release stress, focuses the mind, lowers blood pressure, improves blood circulation in the body, and depending on the type of yoga class – yoga strengthens muscles and helps you lose weight. For a twist on the usual yoga class, try power yoga for a more intense cardio and strength training experience. If you’re in the Los Angeles area and looking for a great power yoga class to explore, check out this teacher… Rudy Mettia is very knowledgeable about the human body and will guide you through a strong, informative and fun class. Be aware, you might even laugh out loud while in plank position...and that's a good thing.

Food

Obviously eating less fried, fatty, and sugary foods is best because they’re high in calories. However, if you do this already and still feel weighed down after eating, you may want to check if you’re eating too many carbohydrates, too much dairy or intolerant to Gluten. Of course, follow the conventional rules of not lying down after eating and consume no more than your own fist-size amount of food for each meal. A twist to this tip: Try to avoid eating carbs for dinner. Have your protein for dinner and your carbs for lunch. This can help drop a couple of stubborn pounds.

Sleep

Get at least 7.5 hours of sleep a night. Consistent lack of sleep can cause fatigue, which affects our energy levels, also we’re grumpier and the brain is not as sharp. Also, when we skimp on our sleep we’re more apt to add pounds because we lower our metabolism.

Meditation

Get quiet. For at least 15 minutes each day, try meditation. You don’t have to do it as a religious practice, the purpose is to quiet the mind. So whatever you’re religion or choice of spirituality, just get quiet for at least 15 minutes each day. If you have a beautiful picture window of flowers, look out while taking slow deep breaths. If you like walking on the beach, sit on the sand for a few minutes and take slow deep breaths. When we feel rested in the mind, we’re better for the world, we’re more pleasant, relaxed and our quality of life is enhanced.

Joy

Life can be challenging. We all know this. Sometimes we don’t have the love we want, just had a car accident, just broke a nail – whatever the challenge, large or small, we should always venture to find the joy in life. Studies have shown that people who are in touch with their joy live longer and look younger. So connect to your favorite people this weekend, play with your children, volunteer your time to an ailing person, engage in a moment that feels good and brings joy to yourself and others. And if you tend to be a ‘glass half empty’ person, maybe simply being with the one you love is enough to keep you smiling.

Take care of yourselves and each other…

Daydree is a Reiki practitioner who lives and works in Los Angeles. She is a registered member of International Association of Reiki Professionals (IARP). To book an appt call: (310) 581-9238 www.myoshun.com

Getting Ready for Love

Daydree — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 23:42:00 GMT

All of us crave some kind of romantic, intimate connection with another person. However, finding that special one can often be elusive especially in this fast paced, highly technological world. We’ve become what many have called a hi-tech low touch society where we can find ourselves in a text conversation that lasts all day, as opposed to simply having a drink or dinner with the same person that might only take 2 hours. Deep connections with others enhance our lives. We all want them, but don’t always know how to obtain them, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. Below are a few things to do in order to get ready for love.

The List

We’ve all heard about making a list of the qualities you want in a partner. This is vital when becoming available to meeting your mate, especially if you’ve been single for a while. In creating the list, you are saying two things – I am open to meeting the right person, and I am claiming and putting out to the Universe what I want for my life with this person. Another reason it is valuable to write your preferred list is when we meet someone after having been single for sometime, we’re usually so relieved and happy to have met the person that we become enamored with them for the attention they give us, and not for the actual person and their qualities. As a result, the relationship can fail because we didn’t choose the right person, we chose the attention. In this case lists are good because they hold us accountable for sticking to what we say we want in a love relationship. When writing the list, it should have 2 columns: Desires and Dealbreakers. The “Desires” column is what you want and the “Dealbreakers” column consists of what you need. The Desires side usually is a lot longer than the Dealbreakers and is usually filled with fantasy wishes like “he’ll always have washboard abs” or “he’ll always say the right things”. Dealbreakers, however, are items that you’ve thought long and hard about and that you are certain you cannot live without. By the way, cheating, physical, mental or emotional abuses, as well as drug/alcohol addiction are a few of the most common dealbreakers for both women and men.

Check Yourself

Are you ready for this? There’s a difference between being ready and being scared. If you’re scared… you can still get ready. Remember, you’re not alone. Especially these days, and the older we get - it can be daunting hoping to find “the one”. Check in with your self-confidence. For example, if you’re not feeling good about your physical appearance, gain more body confidence by joining a great dance class, yoga class, assess your eating habits, or if you tend to be anxious and stressed about the whole process, try Reiki to relax and recalibrate your energy (which can directly effect your feelings). This will boost your self-confidence. Also, look at your attitude. We need to be kind, respectful and warm toward others, if we expect the same. Lastly, be open for the adventure of courtship and expect to be pleasantly surprised by the whole process. Attitude is everything. Undoubtedly, you will draw unto you what you believe.

Online Dating

Be open to online dating. It’s not for everyone, but there are many people who have found their life partners, husbands and wives on dating sites. This is a positive where technology and love can come together for your betterment when you haven’t met someone the old-fashioned way.

Here are 3 important tips to remember when online dating: #1 It’s always best to make your first dates in a coffee/tea shop. This way, no one expects anything from you in exchange for coffee. #2 Don’t have anyone that you’ve never met pick you up at your home no matter how nice they seem on the phone or email. #3 Tell a good friend where and when you’re meeting the date. Safety first.

*Onlinedatingservices.net lists the top 10 dating services online including detailed descriptions of each site.

Wing Person

Every single individual should have one. When you’re becoming open to the dating world, it is common to go out for a drink or coffee in the hopes of meeting that special someone. This is best done with your “wing person”. Basically, a wing man/woman is a friend, usually of the same sex, who hangs out with you in a restaurant/bar while you’re hoping the person of your dreams will come by and show interest. They can act as a “look out” to spot your potential love interest for you. Also, a wing person is helpful because they provide a “buffer” between you and the potential love interest for relaxed, no pressure, introductory conversation should the love interest pop over for a chat. This is a wonderful scenario for getting to know someone in a fun, safe way – with your friend present. Furthermore, your wing man/woman is beneficial for emotional support throughout the entire dating process. Statistics show that when we feel supported and loved, we are more apt to attract the love we ultimately desire for our lives.

7 Steps to a Healthier Love Relationship

Daydree — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 20:55:00 GMT

Many of us have intimate relationships but struggle to have the optimum relationship where we feel at our best with our partner. Often times we’re exuding unhealthy behavior patterns and don’t even know it. For example: there’s an “issue” that repeats itself and causes conflict, or we’re not communicating well with each other, etc. Regardless of your particular challenge, here are a few tips that should help you create a healthier love relationship.

Listen Between the Lines

Some of us aren’t the best communicators. It is said, that men specifically are not. Is this true? According to Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender, and Culture, men communicate when the goals of talking are to exert control, preserve independence or enhance status. This is not helpful when it comes to love relationships, however. Therefore, to avoid frustration and ease communication with your partner, it is important to listen to what they’re saying between the lines. By that I mean, if he/she gets very upset because the cable isn’t working properly, it could just be they’re feeling neglected in some way. Listen with your heart, not with your head. Sometimes what we’re complaining about is not really what’s bothering us.

Autonomy

The first thing couples tend to do when they’re in a relationship is spend lots of time together. There’s nothing wrong with this at all - it’s called nesting. However, at times one individual needs more space than the other. Typically, in heterosexual relationships, it is the man that needs more space (not always, of course). Let him/her have their space. Let them go out with their friends and let them have their alone time and games – no matter how silly you may think they are to you. Everyone needs to feel autonomous. You can act as a team when you’re a couple, but you’re still individuals within the relationship and should still take individual time to do your own thing.

Couple time

It is 2011 and almost everyone has a cell phone. Do not check your Blackberry incessantly while on a date. As a matter of fact, unless you have children or about to meet someone else right after your meal, your mobile device should not be anywhere near the dinner table. Communication with your partner is the most important part of the relationship. Going on a date is a time for bonding with your mate – not your phone.

Don’t argue in public

We all can irritate each other. No one person has perfect moments. However, we want to avoid bickering in public with our partners. It’s embarrassing to them and the person arguing with them, whether they know it or not. Furthermore, the one who is being reprimanded in public will eventually breed resentment towards the other. Some say, there’s an exception to this rule - if the arguing couple is doing so in front of friends. On the contrary, this is actually worse because now your friends are embarrassed to go out with you, but don’t want to say anything because you’re all friends. The solution: If your partner is making you crazy and you’re out in public, hold your tongue until you get home.

Avoid fighting dirty

One last thing on arguing, don’t fight dirty. This can leave lasting wounds and unforgivable moments. Fighting dirty means saying extremely negative things about or to your partner during a fight simply because your angry, but you don’t actually mean it. This usually comes about because of extreme frustration. For example, “You’re the most selfish person I’ve ever met, I don’t even know why I’m with you.” Even though, you didn’t mean what you said, you’ve still said it and it’s been heard. That person may never be able to forget your harsh words; and furthermore, it will color future interactions they have with you. Consistent behavior of this nature breeds resentment, insecurity and can lead to a break-up. Stick to the topic of what you’re in disagreement about, and work on fixing that to bring about harmony. Don’t get lost in emotion and speak from your frustrated place.

Sweet surprises

Surprise your partner with something he/she loves every once in a while. It is a very nurturing thing to do. If you ever had a parent put a note of love in your lunch box or surprise you with your favorite treat, you will understand this gesture. These sweet surprises are usually best when it’s something just the two of you understand and can be small or seemingly insignificant to any other person. A sweet sentiment placed on a post-it note in their wallet or briefcase is a good example.

Be patient

None of us is perfect. And when we get into a relationship, we have many expectations and visions of the way we imagine things should go. Be patient with yourself and with your partner as you learn about each other. Even if you’ve been with someone for 10 years, you’re still learning about him or her. They may have a quality that you don’t particularly like, but guaranteed you have a quality they don’t like that much either. However, when you love someone, you may not like everything about them, but love the whole package because that makes up the whole individual and ultimately, the person you’ve chosen as your partner.

How Powerful Beings Thrive Together in a Work Environment

Daydree — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 16:05:00 GMT

The PB Syndrome

If your friends or colleagues have ever referred to you as the one with the “strong personality”, “natural leader” and/or an “intense person”, this article may be for you. Strong personalities tend to be the leaders in the work environment. At times there are 2 or more of these powerful beings (we’ll call them PB’s) in the office at the same time, working together for the common good. However, at times they don’t work together all that well and can butt heads. I call this the PB syndrome. The PB syndrome is when one of the two powerful beings has feelings of insecurity, lack, or conflict with the other simply because they cannot cope with the intensity or strength of the other person’s character. To the PB feeling insecure, it appears that the other powerful being is overwhelming them or “swallowing” their energy. This can potentially lead to the insecure PB acting out in anger towards the other person because they’re fighting to regain their power.

Here’s the good news: Two strong personality types can survive in a working relationship. However, there must be several elements present in order for it to work - mutual respect, flow of power, praise, listening or giving someone the floor.

Let’s say there’s an office meeting and you’re one of the leaders (PB and you share some great ideas. Another PB has ideas too and makes their points in a very effective way. In your mind, your points now seem smaller, you’re in awe of the other, and you might even become envious. A solution is to respect their new idea, as it’s just as important as yours and does not devalue it. These two great points of view can stand together. Also, focus on the good points of the other PB’s idea and how it will help the common good of the office. Draw your attention to the fact that working together is about the team and not the individual, so no one person needs to be on top.

To deal with feeling overwhelmed or “swallowed” by another PB, try taking a deep breath to release the emotions you’re feeling, then focus your listening on the points that are being made – devoid of emotion. Respecting their strength and viewpoints while respecting your own, is in effect allowing both of your powerful energies to exist together, freely moving between the two of you. This will make both of you feel safe, secure and confident. The antithesis of this is overly controlling behavior patterns and disastrous communication, which will break down the team. Remember a powerful being and true leader is someone who is able to move and inspire an entire group of leaders and followers, towards a common goal working together.

Give Yourself a Tune-up

Daydree — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 01:04:00 GMT

Reiki in the New Year

By the time January rolls around, most of us are ready for a change from the old year and ready to put new years resolutions into play. Out with the old and in with the new. However, we’re not always equipped mentally and emotionally to execute the changes that we seek. By that I mean we’re often over-tired from the holidays, feel strapped money-wise, and not sure if we have the energy to make our goals happen.

Reiki is an essential way to relax, release unwanted tension, and recalibrate ourselves for the new year with energy. Reiki is an ancient Japanese practice well over 150 years old, where the practitioner’s hands are placed on the individual to release emotional, mental and physical stress/pain. This ancient practice helps to balance the left and right brain - centering and grounding us, and release stress in the emotional body that deters us from optimum living.

We human beings are the most effective when we’re the most balanced.

We tune up our cars so they’re at their best for the roads, why wouldn’t we do this for ourselves to get ready for the new year, new goals and aspirations?

Daydree is a Reiki practitioner who lives and works in Los Angeles. She is a registered member of International Association of Reiki Professionals (IARP). To book an appt call: (310) 581-9238

An Uncontrollable Adventure

Daydree — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 16:29:00 GMT

One of the biggest jokes on human beings is that while trying to control everything in our lives, ultimately, we have very little control over our lives - especially when it comes to Mother Nature.

The plan was simple. Get on the plane non-stop on December 27th, to LAX. Get home in time to relax a few days, then create a romantic 5-course meal for New Years Eve. Here's what actually happened...

One to two feet of snow was predicted to hit New York City the day after Christmas. My boyfriend and I were scheduled to return to Los Angeles from New York 2 days after Christmas. Since the weathermen tend to be wrong about these types of things, we assumed we'd get a few inches, and the airport would be cleaned right up in time for us to get outta dodge. Clearly our plan was derailed. The airports were closed on the 27th, so when we went online to our airline's site for more information there was none. We also couldn't get anyone on the phone to let us know when our flight would actually leave - the lines were constantly busy. We kept watching the news for a sign that the airports would reopen that evening. It wasn't looking good. However I had a plan. We'd get up around 5am, go straight to the airport and surely we'd get on some standby flight, or in an extreme case - pay a few extra hundred to leave on a different airline all together. We kept watching the news - over one thousand flights were canceled in all three major NYC airports and folks were sleeping in the airports on conveyor belts. Hmmm...not looking good at all.

Instead of going straight to the airport at 5am, I called instead. After an hour and a half of wrangling and haggling on the phone with our nameless airline, we finally got tickets reserved and were leaving that afternoon for Los Angeles through San Francisco. No longer non-stop, but we weren't complaining. We had control of the situation and we were going home. Good news! I woke my boyfriend to let him know. We were thrilled and already celebrating.

Getting out of our block was a joke. So later that afternoon, we waited across the street for our cab to arrive and carefully take us to the airport. Brooklyn was a nightmare. Sanitation hadn't cleaned much of the snow in the neighborhood, so cars were abandoned and broken down all across the avenue.

JFK airport - We check in 3 hrs early and go straight to the fanciest place in the airport to have a drink and shrimp cocktails. We were so happy to be on our way. DH (my boyfriend) and I toasted and celebrated the blessing of having everything work out. We headed to our gate at the appointed time and the lady at our gate says, "Your flight is canceled." Canceled? How can that be? There was no announcement and we were not contacted. She repeated herself rather deadpan. Everyone around us had the same helpless look. We knew we should probably stay around the airport and get a flight out instead of going back home in such treacherous road conditions. We tried to get booked on another flight. "All flights to Los Angeles have been canceled and some San Francisco flights too. Sorry. We can get you out on January 6th however..." January 6th?! It's the 28th! Ok. Ground yourself. Think. Vision for something better. Think positively. I decided to try them all. My boyfriend and I decided to have a pow-wow. The result: Since the airline couldn't help us out with a guarantee, we'd try standby. There was another flight leaving the next morning (29th) at 7:30am going to SF. It was just added and we'd surely get on. Our gate person was very positive and had actually moved us up in standby to 5th place, up from 22nd. Good news! Since the flight was so early the next day and there was such a problem getting into my family's neighborhood because of the snow, we decided to stay at the airport. Yes, sleep at the airport.

I'd never slept at an airport before, but I figured - everyone else seems to be doing it, so it can't be that bad (pause here for laughter). My boyfriend decided to request some cots. Wonderful. There weren't any available. Wonderful. Everywhere we looked in JFK individuals, families, dogs - were crashed out on the bare floor. Some had cardboard underneath them as a "protective" layer, but most were on the floor - a select few were sleeping sideways and diagonal in chairs. I looked at DH in despair. He said, "Let's find ourselves a corner and I'll go find us some cardboard, ok? Everything's gonna be fine." Sure enough, he returned with some cardboard with little hearts on it (apparently it was a box for chocolate candies), two $10 neck pillows, 4 bottles of water and a bag of Hershey kisses. What a guy.

I found it difficult sleeping on our new cardboard bed. I wonder why? Anyhow, New York's finest patrolled a few times during the night. I wanted to run over and hug them but was too exhausted. Shift to the right. My lower back is killing me. No, really? Shift to the left. "I need something under my hip", DH says. "Yeah... a bed", I reply. He decides to make up a game, "Let's play - What could be worse than this? I'll start." He continues, "If I woke up tied to a bed, with peanut butter and jelly on my testicles and a wolverine in the room... that would be worse than this." We roar with laughter. This little game kept us occupied for a spell, and then we tried to sleep. Well, we mostly tossed and turned. I probably actually slept 30 minutes. I've always had compassion for the homeless, but after that experience, it has certainly quadrupled.

The next morning we headed to our gate - or shall I say, dragged ourselves to the gate for standby. All the while, folks were murmuring, "It's going to be so good to get home." One teenage girl traveling with her friends actually danced through the night to her iPod with excitement because she was finally getting home. We were standing next to each other. Then, the announcement and realization that we weren't getting on the flight. My little teenage friend screamed, "No!" Grown women were crying. A few men were yelling in disgust. Seriously, it was not a good scene. DH and I looked at each other. We were in agreement, we couldn't sleep another night in the airport and the back log of standby passengers had increased to the hundreds. We were obviously not getting home on this airline anytime soon. We called other airlines. "Well, maybe we could possibly, hopefully, get you on this other flight for $1200 per person...but just to Denver. Would you like that? But we can't guarantee it." Ah...no, thanks. We considered renting a car to drive across country, but all rental places wanted their car returned to the same location. I asked my boyfriend, "Have you ever traveled by train, DH? That might be our best bet. I love trains. They can be very soothing." It was his first time.

So we made a reservation right there and then, took a cab to New York's Penn Station December 29th and got on Amtrak's Southwest Chief bound for LA, changing trains in Chicago. I called my family. "Well we didn't get on any of the flights and we can't do another night in the airport, so we're traveling cross country by train." My Mom, "What? Oh Lord. Well, good. When do you get in?" January 1st. So much for the 5-course New Years Eve dinner.

The NY cab ride from JFK to Penn Station was a blog in and of itself.
But I digress...

Penn Station - We arrived at the ticket booth and already had reserved seats, but realized we needed a sleeper car for the journey. There weren't any. The sweet grandfatherly ticket agent said, "Well, who knows? It is the holidays. Maybe someone will cancel their ticket for the last leg of your journey and you can get a sleeper from Chicago to LA. You never know." DH & I looked at each other. Well, the seats are really roomy and they do recline...that should help. Our train was delayed...but only 15 minutes. A win!
I've always loved trains. The have a meditative quality about them. The motion, the endless scenery outside the large windows... DH & I cracked our books and relaxed. We felt so grateful to be finally on our way. Or were we? We kept stopping - more than normal. What is up with this train? Apparently it was so cold outside that our horn, located at the top of the train, was frozen. For this reason we had to slow down - almost to a walking pace - as we approached every signal. And guess what? There were a lot of signals. We basically crawled our way through Upstate New York. Then, the power went out. The power decided to leave the train. Goodbye! Don't like this train anymore. No power for you! DH & I look at each other. This is the time when you meditate, pray, whatever... something. He says, "What the hell?" I reply, "I know. They'll send us another car and we'll get power from that one. I've experienced this before." I went to college in Upstate New York and traveled by train frequently...but I'd forgotten this part. (sigh)

This crazy slow down, speed up thing went on for miles...and miles. And the next thing you know - it was so cold that the signals outside were frozen and not working as well! We were slowing down even more. I could walk to LA at this rate. (We both took a deep breath.) Luckily, it was time for dinner. Distractions can be sweet. We had two options - the snack car or the fancy dining car. We decided to go big, and went for the dining car experience. We made a reservation for 7pm. Very exciting! Table for 2 please. "Ma'am, since it's just the two of you, you'll be sitting with another couple." DH is a pretty private guy, so the awareness that we'd have to share our table with strangers was not appealing. Off his look, I flatly stated, "Sometimes in life, you just have to go with the change of the tide." He shrugged, then gave me a fist pump of agreement. Yay team! Off to the next mini adventure. We sat with a lovely elderly couple from Rochester, NY who had just come from visiting their son and his family. Salt of the earth folks. Next thing you know DH is leading the conversation, we're all joking around and actually enjoying our manicotti with a side of limp string beans. Plus we ordered some red wine - always helps. After dinner, we made our way back to our chairs and reclined. DH looked at me, "Well that wasn't that bad." Nope. Sometimes the challenges we fear, once we're in them, seem like nothing at all.

Chicago - We pulled into Chicago a few hours late because of our frozen horn issue and realized we had 2 hours to spare. I love Chicago, especially the food, so I mention to DH that we should try a nice steakhouse if we could find one. We synchronize our watches and fall upon the nicest cabbie on earth right outside the station - Nicholas from Togo, West Africa. I truly believe his heart was 10 times bigger than his 5' 2" frame. We first needed an iPod charger, so he dropped us at Radio Shack. I stayed in the car while DH ran in to make the purchase. I called him on his cell phone, "You need some cash, right? There's a Bank of America further down on the same block. Nicholas and I will circle and meet you in front." "Ok. Sounds great!" Nicholas and I began to circle the block at which time he begins to give me the loveliest tour of a 4 block radius. "So you see here, you have the Chicago River..." Me, "Ah..." I continue, "Nicholas, do you know of any great steakhouses?" "Oh sure, there's a great Brazilian place just 10 minutes away. It's always busy and always good." We pick up DH. "Nicholas is dropping us off at a steakhouse. Ready for lunch?" DH, "Yeah!!" Not only did this gem of a man drop us to our restaurant, but he then gave us his business card so we could be picked up exactly at the time we needed, in order to get on the next train for the last leg of our journey. Thank you Nicholas for your great attitude, awesome lunch recommendation and best 10-minute city tour ever!

When we arrived at the station, the first order of business was to get a sleeper car. It didn't happen. This was really disappointing. We had two nights left to sleep on the train. Hey, at least our belly's were full. What a blessing! Believe me, I was keeping count. The funniest thing was that neither DH nor I ever got angry or lost our tempers with each other. It was a time to join forces, buckle down, be kind to your neighbors, and enjoy the journey. We settled into our seats. We had new neighbors, as it was a new train. They were hippies. I love hippies. They had hemp clothing, organic this & that's and their own squeaky clean, beige, throw rug which the husband placed on the floor to sleep, while his wife and newborn stretched out on both seats above him. Clever. They were lovely and quiet. In the middle of the night I opened my eyes to observe them exchanging back massages with tea tree oil and braiding each others hair. Bless them.

The scenery was... well, snowy. All the way across the country there was snow on the ground until we got far into Arizona. It was fantastic really. This is such a vast, beautiful country with so much space! Its amazing that so many of us cram into NY and LA. Funny, actually.

We slowed down again... and again because of our frozen horn (which was defrosted for all of two train stops and then froze right up again), and the frozen station signals. Mother Nature. She really just does her own thing - in total control. DH and I spent our time reading, listening to music, and hanging in the lounge car with quite the cast of characters. I can hear my Dad's voice, "It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round." Indeed, Dad, you are correct. I rather enjoyed the whole experience. For the most part, people were lovely with each other, although we were all strangers. In an odd way, we became a family of strangers. I had a few ladies who smiled at me often and just started up random conversations. It was comforting. One seemed to be a bit disgruntled at one point of the journey and as I passed her walking to the lounge car, I kissed her forehead, said nothing, and kept moving. I don't know where it came from - I really didn't plan on doing it. It just happened. It seemed to relax her a bit, so she smiled. Life can be really simple sometimes. We ate breakfast and dinner with an array of people from every demographic. One morning we had breakfast with a left-wing hypnotherapist & a retired widower from Indiana, and the next evening with an extremely funny, elderly man who looked like he could have been David Letterman's Dad...oh yeah, and the guy from California who flipped homes for a living. Quite the crew. Speaking of the actual crew, they were amazing...

I really don't know how they did it. We were delayed many hours because of the weather, ran out of food and water, and yet, the staff on our train never let it stop them from being fun and giving towards us. Attitude really is everything. Yes, you heard it right, about 9 hours outside of our final destination we run out of food and water. Thank goodness I had the presence of mind to pre-pay for 2 breakfast sandwiches the night before. I remember picking them up the next morning. Mel, our lounge car attendant said, "No one can know you have these. I'm serious, no one..." His words trailed off like we were engaging in some CIA operation. He even warmed up our breakfast sandwiches in a small paper box to avoid anyone seeing them come out of the microwave. This was serious business.

We knew we were almost home, but we still couldn't wait to get there. You know that feeling? We pulled out of the station, picking up speed, then suddenly there was an abrupt stop. At this point, we were used to it, so we just sat and waited thinking that something else was frozen and we had to wait for it to thaw. Next thing you know the conductor comes barreling into our car, "Who pulled the emergency brake?!" DH and I looked around. It seemed as though this guy who we had met a couple days ago who shared that he had a serious cold, got seriously drunk the night before, was apparently very hung over and pulled the emergency brake! For what, we'll never know. Did he need an Advil? We looked behind us, and he was on bended knee, like one of those wisemen in a nativity scene...except he wasn't very wise. He had a cute little dog, named Hank with him. Well, I suspect they're out of jail now, because that's exactly where they were headed according to the conductor. You get jail time for pulling an emergency brake on a train when there's no emergency. I think he meant to pull the attendant button, but missed... I'm being generous.
The last few hours were really quite tedious, especially after our last little "moment with Mr. Hangover". Plus we were starving. There were only chips and tap water left on the train, so DH and I were trying to hold out. Then another announcement. We were being offered a free lunch, so we were to report to the dining car immediately. Praise be! DH & I jumped up with the rest of our car and headed down to feast. From a distance I could see something that looked brown in color in a soup bowl. What IS that? It resembled Dinty Moore Beef Stew. My first thought: What will the vegetarians do? You don't want to know my second thought. DH and I couldn't do anything but laugh and pick through it. Everyone was making jokes at this point. We thanked the dining staff, went back to our seats and settled into the last few hours towards home.

The story really ends here. We got to LA, had a lovely, uneventful cab ride home and settled into our cozy place. DH and I had a great journey, we feel blessed to have experienced it and we realize our relationship is better for it. This was a character building experience - not the worse thing in the world, we weren't burned in a fire or wolverines weren't yapping at our private parts, but it was definitely a challenge.
All I know is, we are all stronger than we think. Take good care...

The Rhythm, the Dance & Relationships

Daydree — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 01:38:00 GMT

Have you ever had a friend tell you, "my husband and I never argue" and then felt foolish because you argue all the time with your partner? Or went on a double-date with the "affectionate couple" and came home upset that your mate didn't give you enough affection? Other couples reflect back to us what exists in our relationships. We just don't need to create a comparison because every human being has a personal rhythm and every relationship is a very unique dance. First -our personal rhythm...

Everything is energy. This energy can neither be created nor destroyed. In human beings, this same energy is the fuel for our own personal rhythm. This rhythm is usually pretty constant and is part of our constitution, but can change as we get older and/or when a significant change occurs in our lives. If we're going to talk about rhythm we must first touch on time signatures for a moment. Time signatures are a notational convention used to specify how many beats there are in a measure. Here are just a few general examples: Your rhythm may be the slow, ballad,soothing rhythm. It could be in 6/8 time like John Mayer's hit,"Gravity". I've known people who seem to have an unceasingly steady rock rhythm where they never seem to tire, like 4/4 time. There's also the 7/4 time signatures which are more rare, ie: "Money" by Pink Floyd or "Solsbury Hill" by Peter Gabriel. These rhythms are more complicated and may create a feeling of tension or unusual flow, that isn't typical to the ear or easy to dance to. Once we understand our personal rhythm, the dance we do with our partner is next...

The rhythm we have is alone, but once we're joined with another in relationship, it's a dance - so its not just about you anymore! The dance we create with another is very unique. It can be fun, filled with tension, yielding, growing, slowing down, turning away and coming back... hmmm...sounds like dancing to me. This dance we do together is very poetic, and should be honored. The couple that "never argues" might be doing the Viennese Waltz - calm, stepping together, staying in sync. The arguing couple's dance might be Swing- a roller coaster ride of flips, swinging out and swinging in, falls and lifts. It doesn't really matter what the dance is - it's your unique dance as a team. Now if your rhythm starts to change, and your partner's doesn't - you may need to adjust or stop dancing. That's a choice. However, the main thing is to know that even though your Jazz dance might be filled with some uncomfortable balancing, if you have a good partner you will be supported and the dance will continue. It may not be the happy Lindy Hop like your friends who live down the block from you, but that's okay. You're doing your dance.

If you're interested in a teacher to help inspire and evoke the dance within you, check out Cindera Che's website - The Che Way. She is a master teacher at helping any individual - regardless of prior dance experience - get in touch with their own dance.

One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is to know our body temple in all of its rich glory - the heartbeat, the rhythm, what it needs, how to sustain it and allow it to thrive on its own... and with another.

Girls & Sports

Daydree — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 01:34:00 GMT

There's nothing like sports for a young girl. (By the way, dance is considered a sport.) I grew up playing several sports and thoroughly enjoyed them. I didn't realize it at the time, but not only are sports fun, but they build self-esteem. When playing sports, girls realize that their bodies are not only hangers for cute clothes, but powerful forces to be reckoned with. There are even more benefits. Girls playing sports are less likely to experience teen pregnancy and more likely to graduate with good grades. They don't need to find their self-worth in whether or not a boy likes them, it's in their performance on the field. They learn team-building skills and a deeper love and understanding for their female counterparts. On a health note, females that played sports as teens are less likely to become overweight adults. They're also more likely to excel in the workplace and compete confidently with men. You must watch the HBO documentary, "Kick Like a Girl", about a 3rd grade soccer team in Utah. It's a great story to share with any little girl and inspiring for us big girls, too!

Self-awareness and Your Constitution

Daydree — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 02:56:00 GMT

They're several different tools that can be used when obtaining greater insight into ourselves, our behavior and how we relate to those around us.Aside from our basic personality traits, there are qualities that are specific to certain types of individuals. For example, in astrology, Libra is considered the sign of relationships. In numerology, if you're an "8", success is extremely important to you. There's also your constitution in the Hindu culture- Vata (Air), Pitta (Fire) and Kapha (Earth), as well as 8 possible combinations of each constitution or dosha - Vata, Pitta, Kapha, Vata-Pitta, Pitta-Kapha, Vata-Kapha, Vata-Pitta-Kapha and Balanced. (The element of water is assumed as part of the doshas: air, fire and earth.) Below is a Reader's Digest synopsis of the 3 elements which comprise the 8 possible doshas. If you're interested you'll receive much more detailed information in an actual Ayurvedic reading to discover your dosha type:

Air - Easily distracted, they flow with whatever is going on, enjoy the sun, tend to get cold easily, hair can be dry.
Fire - Easily excitable personalities, good appetites, tend to perspire even in cold weather, skin is delicate.
Earth- Grounded individuals, tend to save their energy well, skin is cool& slightly oily, strong nails, moderate desire for food but prone to emotional eating.

The advantage of knowing our dosha is to have a deeper awareness of ourselves and our actions, have more patience for ourselves and therefore not judge a quality within us or someone else that may be simply - their natural constitution.

The Space In-between

Daydree — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 02:42:00 GMT

She said, "I haven't worked in months. I've tried everything. What else can I do? Everybody else seems to be doing just fine. I can't seem to get ahead."

He said, "I've been on Match.com but I'm not meeting anyone wonderful.Same old thing. I haven't made a solid connection with anyone. It's just a waste of time. Nothing's happening."

Does any of this sound familiar? First of all, we can never say: Nothing's happening because something's ALWAYS happening - even if we can't see it or the evidence of it.

Years ago when I was going through a financial and romantic slump, I called on my sister-friend for advice. I shared all that was seemingly failing in my life. She listened. Then I went on to mention all the things I was doing to make it better, but nothing seemed to work. "When was it going to happen for me?" I probed her with questions like she was Miss Cleo with a crystal ball. "When is it my time to shine?" "I've been working so hard and I thought I did everything right... What the hell?!" She heard me as a good sister-friend would, then took a pause and said, "Picture a ladder." Oh great. What is she talking about? But I listened and tried to quiet my inner voice that was compelled to complain some more.

Picture a ladder. Do you see it? That ladder has rungs. Now picture yourself going up the ladder. With each step, going up each rung, you're attaining the realization of your dreams ie: the career you've envisioned, the love of your life, a fit and healthy body, etc. - climbing upwards. However,before any of us gets to the next rung - what is there? Space in-between. We haven't landed anywhere yet, we're in process. This space in-between is golden. Before we get to our next achievement sometimes hings don't seem to be happening. Life will appear to be moving at as lower pace or not moving at all. We tend to question ourselves during the space in-between stage. We get impatient and at times, we want to give up. There's no need. This space in-between is just as valuable if not more so than achieving the actual goal. Why? Because this is where we practice self-discovery, patience, the art of replenishing (or as I like to call it, "constructive rest") and possibly creation. Most importantly, this is where we strengthen our resolve and faith within ourselves.Because even if we can't see it, something is always happening.

I've savored this great advice and hope you find a jewel in it, too. So the next time someone asks you - "What are you working on right now?" - and you feel foolish because you don't have a list of projects and wins to share, just say, "I'm working on the space in-between."

The Graceful Goddess Always Asks First

Daydree — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 03:18:00 GMT

Let's say you invite a couple of friends for a double-date evening out. You say, "We haven't seen each other in awhile and we're looking forward to connecting with you two over dinner..." They say, "Cool." Everyone is in agreement and a date is set. A few days before the evening, you send an email to confirm the time and suddenly discover your friends have invited another couple that you don't really know at all. Now your quiet intimate evening catching up with old friends has turned into a small party. You nor your partner are quite up for it but instead of making a fuss, you just go.

The graceful goddess always asks first. It takes no more than 5 minutes to send a quick email or text to check in with the other party. For example: "Hey, I was thinking of inviting Derrick and Sue to our dinner date and making it more of a party, what do you think?" This way your friends feel respected because you've considered their opinion, plus, you don't have to worry about any awkward moments if everyone doesn't get along at dinner. One last point - it uses less energy/effort to socialize with an old friend as opposed to someone new and unfamiliar. So if you're not quite sure what kind of evening your guests are into... just ask first.

Spirituality

Daydree — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 03:03:00 GMT

Spiritual. It's a buzz word of our time, but what does it mean? Most of us didn't grow up hearing the phrase, "being spiritual". We spoke in terms of someone being religious or not religious. Now in America, we live in a time where the concept of religion has expanded to spiritual ideas as well. It seems as though the 5 major religions aren't enough for us anymore. We've opened our aperture by adopting different modalities from a variety of belief systems and incorporating them into our own personal spiritual evolvement. Nowadays,for example there are Christians that meditate. Meditation was not something that Christians talked about in the past but now some Christian churches embrace the concept. There are "crossovers", if you will, in every religion and every belief system. This "crossing over" is what some people refer to as spirituality, while others condemn it as blasphemy.

There are spiritual atheists as well. Yes! For the spiritual atheist,spirituality is defined by nurturing thoughts and actions that are in harmony with a belief that the entire universe is in some way connected.In this definition spirituality does not reference God or a higher being, but rather, a feeling of being connected to a harmonious Universe. Isn't that God? Regardless, of how you cut it, a concrete definition of spirituality that everyone can agree upon is quite nebulous. Yet most of us strive for that spirituality/God/Presence which calms the soul, body and mind and grounds us when life gets tough. With that said, it's the most important energy center in the body. The Crown- this chakra connects us to our spirituality.

One of the modalities that supports and heals our transformational journey and deepens our spirituality is Reiki. It's an ancient Japanese healing art that assists in releasing emotional and physical stress. Growing up,I never heard of Reiki and would have never explored any type of spirituality like it. However, it's clear to me that there's more than one way to God and more than one type of spiritual practice that can be of comfort to us. I've since studied the healing art and now provide Reiki therapy. Since I've become certified, I've seen many transformations within clients. I've witnessed comfort from physical wounds, seen the calm and serenity Reiki has brought doulas, and I've observed closed hearts open to love again. Reiki centers and focuses the mind, and guides one towards their own personal evolvement. I do believe there's more than one way to God, and if you're open to it, you may discover it's not about the pathway - but the spiritual food you're given on the journey.

Lucky

Daydree — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 14:47:00 GMT

I'm lucky enough to have a partner who takes great macro photos of butterflies. He was interested in raising one from caterpillar stage, so we looked around for a Common Rue plant that might attract a Giant Swallowtail butterfly to lay its eggs. However when I went to the nursery, there was a caterpillar already on a Common Rue plant, so I bought that one. How fortuitous! We did some research and learned what to expect at every stage of the transformation. Even though we had this information, the experience still lent itself to a sense of mystery -wondering what each stage of metamorphosis would bring for this little being. In my excitement, I shared my playful new experiment with a few friends. Some totally understood and wanted to hear more, while others were more ambivalent. I told one friend and said the name of our caterpillar was "Lumpy" (of course, everything needs a name)... This individual's response was: "Oh, a bug." In another case, I began telling the story of Lumpy and the person I was speaking to cut me off mid-sentence. I attempted to retell her my story but she interrupted and changed the subject again! I found this obvious lack of interest, very interesting...

I began to realize there comes a point where some of us adults are no longer concerned in connecting to our inherent sense of wonder,discovery and play - essentially, being as a child. I don't mean engaging in sports - that breeds competition (which is not a bad thing,but competition usually makes one intense and serious, which is the opposite of what we're going for). What I'm talking about is: just having fun with no agenda. Yes, no agenda. This is difficult for many of us - mostly because leaving time in one's calendar to "delight in the little things" seems a little nuts. Furthermore, with the job market and economy as it is, it's become increasingly more difficult for adults to justify taking time away from the perfectly carved weekly routine to lighten up and just enjoy. The priority for most of us is to make enough money to pay bills and have food on the table. I get it.However, we risk losing the balance of life when all we do is work. As my father would say, "Life is for the living." - and we're not living if all we're doing is working. Laughter, experiencing joy, connecting with others, communing with nature -is all part of living. And yes, you can always partake in some sort of fun activity with your own child, but it really has to be light and fun...not an activity that's exhausting, or about disciplining the child and work.Learning to delight in the little things in life and making time for fun with no agenda releases tension in the mind, jump starts your creativity and enthusiasm, lowers the blood pressure and breeds joy.

But back to Lumpy... like most caterpillars, he mostly just ate and ate,much like the common children's story, "The Hungry Caterpillar". He went through a few molts (shed his skin a few times) which was really wild to see in person, then left his host plant for a walkabout. At this point we knew it was time for Lumpy to pupate (change into a chrysalis),so we placed him in a sealed breathable container until he transformed.Once he became a chrysalis we moved him to a desk in our office. He remained in this stage for about 9 days. Then one day we came home and there was this beautiful little butterfly hanging out in our space, who we fondly renamed Lucky.We set him free, of course, and our experience was over, but the sweetness remained. A bit of joy crawled into our lives, then flew out the door leaving lightness, joy and laughter... and only for $2.50!Delight in the little things and free your mind.

Healing and Teachers

Daydree — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 01:59:00 GMT

In last month's newsletter, I spoke briefly regarding the loss of my dear friend who died of stage IV breast cancer. She was a very spiritually, mentally and physically healthy person for most of her life. However, she was not having yearly mammograms, so early detection that could have possibly saved her life was not an option.

I understand that some of us are not particularly interested in Western medicine. We don't like taking pills of any sort for a headache or monthly cramps and we prefer Eastern healing techniques as opposed to Western medicine. However, science and Western medicine do have a purpose and a healing place in our lives if we choose to accept it. My friend did not. However, I do and really advocate the balance of both Eastern and Western techniques as needed. As a Reiki therapist, I've assisted in healing clients' pain from lacerations, chronic physical pain and emotional distress. However, if Reiki or any other Eastern modality did not work for them, I would recommend a Western physician.Eastern healing techniques and self-help practices are more attractive because they tend to be less invasive to the body temple, but they're not the only answer - which brings me to my next point, on teachers.

James Arthur Ray is a teacher of self-help practices like the law of attraction found in "The Secret" and his own concept, "Harmonic Wealth". He held an event in a Sedona sweat lodge last October where 3 people died of heat stroke due to sauna-like conditions inside the sweat lodge tent. James Arthur Ray is currently incarcerated and awaiting trial. It is believed that he ignored those followers that were having physical problems due to the sweat lodge conditions. However, it is also said, that these folks were so captured by Mr. Ray's philosophies that they didn't want to leave the tent. Maybe both points are at play here. Regardless, these people followed their teacher, albeit blindly, and because of it they perished.It's fine to follow a teacher, but we must always remain the masters of our own souls. Once, I was in a class and smelled a toxic odor and asked if we could open a door. Because the teacher didn't smell it, he ignored my request. So I took the initiative to get up and leave for some air. If I didn't do this and something horrible happened to me,that teacher would be at fault legally because it's their class. But here's the thing, I'm responsible because I'm in charge of me and my own thought.

It's easy to get hooked into the witty catch phrases and the seductive words and actions of a great teacher -but they are mere mortals, like all of us and susceptible to self-aggrandizement and moments of thoughtlessness like anyone else.With that said, remain vigilant to your inner voice of truth for you.

Personal Space

Daydree — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 01:48:00 GMT

I was on line at the supermarket today. In the middle of my transaction I was having a chat with the cashier... It was a lovely moment. But, this lady who was next in line behind me, was standing practically right under my armpit. I gave her a couple of gentle glances so maybe she would get the hint to give me a little room. She did not.At this point, my purchase was complete and was about to head out the door. She was so close behind me that when I picked up my carry bag and pivoted to leave, I damn near knocked her out. Plus I stepped on her foot at the same time. Before I could say anything, she said, "I'm sorry." People. Really. Unless you're intimately involved with the person on line in front of you. Don't stand so close. We weren't raised by wolves and Beyonce is not the cashier, so there's no rush. We can give each other a little room and patience to do a simple transaction at the grocery store without the need of a trauma unit. Thank you. Take care of yourselves, and each other...

Celebrate You, by Taking Care of You

Daydree — Sat, 22 May 2010 02:08:00 GMT

I was just told that my dear friend of 16 years has stage 4 breast cancer. It is too late for chemo or surgery. This lady has always been the healthiest person I've known. She exercises regularly. Doesn't live in a major city. Doesn't smoke. Barely drinks. Eats organically. Occasionally eats meat, but a vegetarian most of her life. Also, I must say this is one of the most positive, spiritual, loving and generous people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. So you get it - a very healthy person. However, she did not partake in a yearly mammogram. Therefore, by the time she was feeling ill and went to the doctors, they told her and her family, "There's nothing we can do."

Any woman over 40 years of age should have an annual mammogram.

If this cancer was detected early enough I might be writing a different newsletter. Please ladies, take care of yourselves and each other.

Fathers

Daydree — Sat, 22 May 2010 02:06:00 GMT

Hope you all had a beautiful Mother's Day! Now Father's Day is coming up - June 20th. Many more people have mothers so Father's Day can often get lost in the calendar. Whatever your personal situation, fathers or the memory of our fathers plays a vital part in our lives. Why? The opposite sex parent relationship when we're a child often informs how we'll relate to our future mates. (This may or may not follow as truth for homosexual females because women relate to other women differently than men.) For a female, the first man we fall in love with when we're little girls is our Dad. Yes. This is a big point to make because it colors everything! Every time the phone doesn't ring with the man we're interested in, issues with receiving affection from our mate come up, and fundamentally the reasons why we don't have a mate - all can be related to the relationship with the first man we ever loved - our father. And yes, even if you didn't like your father that much, chances are you loved him as a child.

I happen to have a great Dad. However, most of my first relationships with men were not that great. This was because no one could live up to my Dad, so I gave up on trying, which means I was "okay" with having a man in my life that was second, third or sometimes fourth best. Also, I wanted some obvious form of approval from these young men because that's what I received as a child when I did really well. For example, an A+ on my report card often yielded a delicious Italian sandwich from the best deli in Brooklyn or a great burger from Jackson's Hole restaurant (no longer exists unfortunately) or some rockin' Caribbean bread. Just thinking about it takes me back to loads of smiles, laughter and a full belly. So later as a young adult in my 20's, I sought approval in the same way from these guys. Finally I got it together. I stopped settling and got rid of a long-time but non-committal boyfriend. My friend, James calls these types of guys "the fire extinguishers" - break here for emergency. They're not really interested in being serious about you. They're there, however, and you can call them in a pinch for something random...like...you know what. However, they're completely unavailable if you need a good friend, ride to the airport, or your drawers moved - chest of drawers that is. Anyway, I fired the fire extinguisher. This occurred when I finally remembered the woman my father raised me to be - who I truly am. That's when HE showed up. The right man for me.

Many of us waste months or years (like I did) trying to figure out why we can't obtain what we desire in our men or why we can't meet a man. Look at the relationship with your father. How do (did) you relate to him? Was he there at all? Are you looking for your lover to be your Dad? If you had or have a great father and can't seem to settle on the right mate, then ask yourself: Why aren't you loving and respecting yourself enough to wait for a mate who loves and respects you like your father - the first man who ever loved you?

Obviously, the reason why we don't have what we desire with men is not ONLY about our opposite sex parent issues but it's a great place to start and an area that is often overlooked. So check it out...It may be enlightening and lead you down a path to healing and getting exactly what you've always desired - a healthy, adult, loving and respectful relationship.

Universal Message

Daydree — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 17:34:00 GMT

The desert is one of Mother Earth's vast open hearts exuding beauty, peace and healing love to all those who will receive it. I just got back from a trip to Death Valley in the Mojave Desert. I'd never been there before and wondered what all the fuss was about. Well, I got it. One would think Death Valley would be pretty boring to experience with nothing more than sand and mountains, but we went during the explosion of wildflowers, and what a sight! This was just after the high holy days of Easter and Passover. The meditative quality of the desert and its wildflowers created a space within me where I began to contemplate my existence and the significance of the recent past high holy days. The Bible and Torah ask us to "love one another". Buddha is quoted as saying, "If these minds love one another the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden." In the Muslim religion, it is said that "...you will not complete your faith till you love one another." You get the point. So there I was in the desert feeling the love, the energy and at one with the Universe. Great. Now what happens when I get back to Los Angeles and its #1 rated worst traffic in the country? Will I still be able to "love one another" as I'm being cut off on the freeway? Or, as I interact with a customer service person impatient to my questions? That's the real trick.

Last year an elder told me, "Strangers used to be nicer. Not anymore. People are actually getting meaner." Are they? Maybe, maybe not... But I do know one thing, I'm going to do my best not to contribute. What helps me to "love one another" is to give someone the benefit of the doubt or a pass on their bad behavior -especially when their negative actions seem to come out of nowhere. I remember having a negative experience with a customer service person once and after speaking to the manager, I was told that this individual just had a parent pass away. Their "bad behavior" with me was due to their inner sadness and pain. Not that it's okay to be unkind when we're upset, but it allows us to give someone a pass...We're all human and fallible. And until we've walked in someone else's shoes, we never really know what they're going through at any given moment.

Quick reminder - Patience for the Moms

Daydree — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 17:33:00 GMT

For those of us that don't have children, sometimes it can feel a bit annoying when going through the aisle of a supermarket and there's a Mom and her kids in the way because she's handling a temper tantrum that's getting out of control. Or, if we're able to make a right turn on red, there's a Mom stepping off the curb with her stroller and toddler in hand taking time because she's got a lot to handle. And of course there's the favorite - the screaming child in the restaurant or airplane. Please let's be patient for this. I'm sure many of us are patient, but for those of us that aren't, let's remember: It is not easy to be a mother. We were all children once and probably would have liked it if others were patient with us. So let's wait for the Mom and her kids (or any person, for that matter) to pass your car at a safe distance before barreling past, and not give them "the look" if we're inconvenienced by having to slow down. They appreciate it and it's a good thing all around. After all, patience is a virtue.